Friday 21 November 2008

learning not to hope but cope

I feel like a complete idiot, gushing the way I did in my last post 'cause I'm still waiting for an answer. Apparently he used the term tomorrow quite loosely implying sometime in the hopefully near future. I've already mailed him for a friendly update but nothing, nada, bupkus. Damn me for getting my hopes up! I should know better.

I did however have another interview this week for a job I didn't want but could probably do in order to occupy my time until something else eventually turns up that motivates me enough to get out of bed in the morning, preferably with a smile. In a nutshell, it didn't go well. It started with utter embarrassment and ended with me slamming the door shut. Sometimes my temper gets the best of me. I applied for a receptionists position with Stad Antwerpen but apparently even though I have not one but two university degrees I'm not qualified enough, oh well. Fuckers! And I say that in the nicest possible way.

I've basically been doing a lot of wallowing and waiting this past week while feeling blissfully serene thanks to my anti-anxiety meds. Sometimes even too serene that I have to occasionally remind myself that I'm still alive although barely kicking.

I was supposed to have another interview today but it was postponed to Monday so I've got something to look forward to, relatively speaking anyway. This time it's with a production company, as in movies. Who knows maybe my luck's about to change. It has to someday, right?

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